When we think about beauty, normally the first thing that comes to mind is exterior beauty. Hair, nails, makeup it all helps, but what about what’s happening deep inside us? I recently read that Irina Shayk commented that her ex boyfriend (Cristiano Ronaldo) made her feel ugly. Come on girls - she is gorgeous! But it made me think that it doesn’t matter how beautiful we feel on the outside, a toxic relationship can ruin everything. And I am not only talking about relationships, I am talking about friends, family members and even work colleagues that might make us feel ugly even involuntarily. Of course most people don’t intend to put you down but do you know how to filter these comments you are hearing? Do you know what comments to pay attention to and what to ignore? Here are my top five tips to not let toxic people ruin your vibe.
1) Listen to people that have experience on what they’re talking about. People love to give their opinion but most of them don’t have a clue. Use the “3 filter question rule”: Have they done this before, if yes, were they successful at it, do they have the professional experience to positively help you?
2) Listen to facts, against facts there is no argument. It’s so annoying when people speculate what can go wrong instead of giving a definitive reasonexplaining on why it will go wrong. Always question if what someone is telling you has substance, especially if it’s a negative person.
3) Zone out, every time compulsive moaners are talking to me I pretend that I am listening but in fact I imagine myself drinking a Pina colada in the Maldives. Don’t let their bad energy affect your spirit.
4) Activate your inner “jealousy detector’’! Unfortunately, there are some people that put you down for the simple pleasure of putting you down. So learn to identify that kind of “friend” and the quicker you delete from your life sooner it will get better.
5) Listen, someone once told me that we have “two ears and one mouth” so we listen more than we speak. Before opening up to someone and telling them about your dreams, try and learn more about the person you are opening up to. Negative people are easy to spot so avoid opening up for people like this.
The best piece of advice I ever received: “Imagine people are like apples, when a bad apple is put inside a basket all the good apples go bad. ” Don’t expect your good qualities to rub off on negative people.
“You can’t hang out with chickens and expect to be an eagle.”
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